|Season 2, Episode 1|
|A Native girl on the Island wants to marry Gilligan in a ceremony that could see the Castaways rescued.|
|Air Date:||September 16, 1965|
|Written By:||Budd Grossman|
|Directed By:||Jack Arnold|
|Guest Cast:||Russ Grieve as the Native Chief and Eddie Little Sky as Haruki|
|A Nose by Any Other Name||Beauty Is as Beauty Does|
Gilligan's Mother-in-Law is the Season Premiere of the Second Season of "Gilligan's Island". It aired September 16, 1965.
A family of indigenous natives arrive on the island via canoe. The daughter is smitten with Gilligan. Mr. Howell misinterprets their gestures to mean the daughter is interested in marrying the Skipper! The Skipper is flatly opposed, barricading himself in his hut. The Professor is able to talk with the Chief in their dialect which he describes as a combination of Polynesian and Papu. He informs the Skipper the girl is actually interested in Gilligan! Viewing a marriage as a way off the island the Skipper insists Gilligan go through with the marriage, but first he must pass the marriage test. The marriage test involves Gilligan carrying the overweight bride around in his arms, then a bravery test where knives are thrown at Gilligan. Gilligan passes all the tests. Protocol then requires the Castaways throw a party in honor of the marriage-to-be. During the party, the Chief's daughter's old suitor, Haruki, appears to vie for her hand in marriage. A contest for the daughter is arranged - spears at dawn! Ginger comes on to Haruki in an effort to spare Gilligan any harm; her efforts are spurned. The duel begins; Gilligan is given first throw and hits a coconut which knocks out Haruki. The Chief's daughter decides to marry Haruki anyway, but they cannot leave the island because the marriage is by invitation only. Being good sports the natives invite Gilligan anyway, but when told he must pass the Best Man test of poison darts at six paces , he jumps out of the canoe and swims back to the island!
- "Everyone should know when to fold his cards."
- First episode in color
- First time Russell Johnson and Dawn Wells mentioned in credits
- Eddie Little Sky's Cherokee scream
- The Professor runs afoul of an alligator
- Bob Denver as Gilligan
- Alan Hale Jr. as The Skipper
- Jim Backus as Mr. Howell
- Natalie Schafer as Mrs. Howell
- Tina Louise as Ginger
- Dawn Wells as Mary Ann
- Russell Johnson as The Professor
- Russ Grieve ... Native Chief
- Henny Backus ... Native Mother
- Mary Foran ... Native Daughter
- Eddie Little Sky ... Haruki
- Jim Backus's real life wife Henny Backus guest stars as the Chief's wife.
- Mary Foran is four years older than Russ Grieve, the man playing her father.
- Despite the Professor saying the natives' dialect is spoken on only a few islands to the southwest of them, he appears to have a command of the language.
- A boom mike appears in the scene of the Boy's Hut.
- It's possible (but unconfirmed) that the native chief in this episode is the same native chief who departed the island on amiable terms in Music Hath Charms, having returned to procure a husband for his daughter. Both characters were played by Russ Grieve.
- In the scene where Gilligan is hiding in the cave, there's a strange light inside the cave that illuminates the Skipper and then Gilligan strolling out then charging back out of it.
- The lion's roar in the cave suggests that Leo the Lion landed on the island far earlier than the Skipper finding his crate in Feed the Kitty.
- There seems to be no consistency to the pronouncing of Haruki's name. It is pronounced Haruki by the Chief and by the Professor repeatedly at the start. When Ginger comes on to Haruki, he says his name is Haruka, which Ginger then starts using it. After Haruki is knocked out by the coconuts, the Chief and his wife call him Haroki. In the final moments, the Professor starts calling him Hiroki. Furthermore, close-captioning of the episode spells it, "Harouki" and "Harouka" when Ginger says it. In the credits, Eddie Little Sky is merely credited as "Native Warrior."
- The spray paint gun used to create the target for Gilligan can be seen far right in the scene tries to practice.
- When Gilligan prepares to throw the spear at Haruki, he is seen under a tree in the close-up but in the clearing in the long shot.
- It's unclear how islanders who speak a combination of Polynesian and Papua (island chains thousands of miles apart) are within canoeing distance to the island. A family (with only two paddlers) would not conceivably travel long distances by canoe and yet the natives's island is said to be in the shipping lanes (presumably Gilligan's Island is not).
- At the end of the episode, Haruki tells Gilligan in his own language about the Best Man test, but before the Professor can translate the question, he repeats the question for the Professor answer. This and several moments through the episode suggests that the natives might understand English even if they don't speak it.
- Skipper - "How's that, Mr. Howell? "
Mr. Howell - "Fine, fine... I close me eyes and I'm on the veranda of the Oyster Bay Yacht Club."
Gilligan - "That's funny. I close my eyes and get dizzy."
- Mr. Howell - "Of course, we'll get off the island. You don't expect Thurston Howell III to spend the rest of his life on an island without a ticker-tape machine, do you? Not to mention a fox-hunting season."
- Ginger - "I think we better try another hair-do"
Mary Ann - "That wouldn't help."
Ginger - "It wouldn't hurt."
- Mrs. Howell - "I'm sure she's considered quite attractive in her own little group."
Ginger - "That's the trouble. She is her own little group."
- Mrs. Howell - "If only Rodney, my hair-dresser was here."
Ginger - "What would he do?"
Mrs. Howell - "He'd faint, I'd suppose!"
- Skipper - "Gilligan, I am not marrying that fat native girl!"
Gilligan - "Well, you're not so skinny yourself."
(The Skipper groans)
Gilligan - "What I mean is maybe on your honeymoon you go on a diet together."
- Skipper - "Look, Gilligan, a thousand times no! A thousand times no! I don't care if she loses twenty, thirty or forty pounds... Even if she disappears entirely... I am not marrying that native girl!"
Gilligan - "But you said yourself, you want to get off the island."
Skipper - "Well I've changed my mind. I kinda love this little island."
- Mrs. Howell - "Darling, if you didn't want to get married, where would you hide?"
Mr. Howell - "Let me see, if I remember correctly, if was in the steam room at the athletic club. But you found me anyway... on the rocks."
- Skipper - "Leave it to a mother-in-law to find the groom."
- Skipper - "Where have you been hiding?"
Gilligan - "I'll never tell. I may want to hide there again."
- Mr. Howell - "That means the wedding is on again and doesn't the bride look beautiful!"
Skipper - "The bride looks beautiful?"
Gilligan - "Her??"
Mrs. Howell - "All brides are beautiful."
Gilligan - "You mean she's going to look worse after we're married?!"
- Skipper - "The marriage test?"
Gilligan - "That's one test I'm going to flunk for sure!"
Skipper - "What was that, Gilligan"
Gilligan - "That's one test I'm going to try my very hardest to pass... even if I have to cheat?"
Skipper - "That's right, Little Buddy."
- Gilligan - "Bravery? Any man who would marry her has got to be the bravest man in the world!"
- Gilligan - "I know I'm not going to get hurt... I'm going to get killed!"
- Professor - "Gilligan, try not to move around so much."
Skipper - "Gilligan, please now, these natives are wonderful with these knives. They hardly ever miss!"
Gilligan - "Hardly ever??!!"
- Mrs. Howell - "Thurston, how do I look?"
Mr. Howell - "You look like Miss Alfalfa rotating her crops."
- Mr. Howell - "Lovey, that mean old chief took away my imported top hat!"
Mrs. Howell - "Never mind my darling, At least you have the satisfaction of knowing it absolutely doesn't do a thing for him."
- Professor - "I wonder who he is?"
Skipper - "Search me, Professor"
(Haruki's warrior scream)
Gilligan - "Whoever he is, he sure is upset he missed dinner."
- Professor - "The chief says choose a contest that can understands."
Gilligan - "How about a running race? He runs that way, and I run this way."
- Professor - "He's decided the contest is to be with spears."
Gilligan - "Spears? Oh that's wonderful. See who can throw the spear the farthest. That's one I'm bound to lose."
Professor - "Not farthest, Gilligan. At each other."
Gilligan - "At each other? Somebody can get hurt that way."
- Skipper - "You get that, Gilligan. You have one night to practice."
Gilligan - "Practice what? Dying?"
- Ginger - "What's he saying?"
Professor - "Well, he says he likes you, but he you're not the type of girl he take home to mother."
- Skipper - "Now then, I shall toss this coin to see who throws first. Gilligan, you call it." (under his breath) "Call heads."
Gilligan - "Tails."
Skipper - "Heads."
Gilligan - "Tails."
Skipper - "Heads!"
Gilligan - "I want tails!"
Skipper - "Heads." (shows coin) "It's a two-headed coin, you dummy."
- Gilligan - "What was that? Was he wishing me good luck?"
Professor - "He said he was just kissing you good-bye."